He trudged through the swamp, lukewarm hip-deep waters begin as helpful to comfort as they were to travel. He stopped and took a look around, running his hand through his unruly dark brown hair. Where was he? He didn't remember the last time he had seen a town... and he really had tried to keep track of where he was going, too... He sighed and slouched under the weight of his problems (and the heavy pack on his shoulders...), then continued on.

Finally he reached land. Ecstatic at the feel of firm ground under his feet instead of water in his pants, he dropped his pack, stretched, and walked to the brush to survey the land ahead.

There was a hill. He slipped. 'It had to be more water,' he thought unhappily as he fell into the lake.

In an instant he emerged, splashing and sputtering. "Ah!! C-c-cold!" he squeaked, scrambling to shore. Squeezing the water from his striped shirt, he found what he'd tripped over: a small black pig. It looked kinda cute. It looked unconscious. It looked like it'd be tasty. It looked like- "Dinner," Waldo thought, greedily.

Waldo smiled. He'd found a change of clothes to replace his dripping wet ones. He'd found a juicy pig to replace his beef jerky sticks. And, while he couldn't find anything to prepare the pig with, he *had* found a pot. He didn't remember the last time he'd know where this much of his stuff was... Anyway, boiled pig would taste good, he figured. So he tossed the pig in the pot, and sat back, content.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Waldo's reverie was broken by the sound of a man screaming. He looked. There was a naked boy in his dinner. "My pig!" Waldo cried, pushing the boy out of the pot. But it was empty. "What did you do to my dinner?!" Waldo accused.

"Bangohan?!?" the boy raged. "Hibiki Ryoga da! Ore wa daremo bangohan ja nai, yo!!" The naked boy stalked off, leaving a stunned Waldo. A few minutes later, he returned, dressed in a yellow traveling outfit. "Koko doko?" he asked. Seeing Waldo, he regained his anger. "Aa! Hitotsu mo koto..."

"Hey! Watashi no pig wa where?" Waldo complained in broken Japanese. "You wa ..my pig o... took, uh.. I-- no, watashi wa hungry! ...desu.

Ryoga looked dismayed. "Your Japanese really sucks."

Waldo's frown increased. "If you knew English, then why didn't you just use it in the first place?" He pointed to his own European features. "I don't quite pass as a native. But that's not why I'm mad. I'm mad because now I have to have jerky for dinner again. And don't even try to get any of it, because I'm not sharing. What did you do to my pig?"

The Asian boy scowled. "It... the pig... was me. I have a curse that makes me turn into a pig with cold water. I'm cursed with living as half a man, something that I can't admit even to my beloved..." He turned away in sorrow.

"Hmm... and you wouldn't just finish it all and let me eat you?" Waldo asked innocently. "Guess not," he answered at Ryoga's dark look. "Well," he said, looking for his pack, "I guess beef is what's for dinner. As a fellow traveler, feel free to join me."

"What?" Ryoga said, confused. "First you try to eat me, then you're incredibly mad, now you offer your companionship? You're a pretty strange person. Who are you?"

The boy stood, extending his hand to shake. "Most call me Waldo. Traveling's my trade. I rarely meet others such as myself," at this he motioned toward's Ryoga's gear. "so when I do, it's best to be friendly." He smiled. "Besides, it's getting late, so we might as well share camp, if that's okay with you."

"Well..."

"Great! Now, if I could only find my bag..."

And so the night progressed. Ryoga ended up catching their dinner, as Waldo couldn't find his gear ("It's just a shortcoming I have. I lose stuff. Not the best trait for a traveler."). Waldo asked for a demonstration of Ryoga's transformation, which he found incredibly cool ("Better than the movies!"). Ryoga explained how he happened to be out-- the evil, dishonorable and cowardly Saotome Ranma had avoided combat once again, and he was out training. Actually, Ryoga was just lost again, and he hadn't the foggiest idea where he was or how to get back. Being in the same position, Waldo proposed they travel together ("Maybe our combined powers can get us to civilization!"). Not one to commit to things too quickly, Ryoga refrained from giving a definitive answer. And thusly, the author cut to the next scene, where the two have bedded down for the night.

"Kami, how I hate that Saotome!"

"You know, Ryoga, all the talking you do about this Ranma character... If I didnt' know any better, I'd say you're in love."

Ryoga was silent. Two beats, three. "That's the STUPIDEST idea I've EVER heard!" he yelled, shaking Waldo like a rag doll. "Ranma is my *Worst*Rival* and *Enemy*! Just because he happens to be mildly attractive Doesn't mean-- Hey, are you listening to me?"

"Gak," Waldo replied.

Ryoga realized the lanky boy he was violently shaking was no martial artist, and he, Ryoga, was obscenely strong. "Oops..." Ryoga set the barely conscious boy down and gave him a glass of water. "Sorry about that," he nervously laughed, hand behind head in embarrassment. "Sometimes I don't know my own strength."

Instead of the verbally abusive response Ryoga expected, once he stopped seeing stars other than those in the sky, Waldo made a request: "I want to see him. Do you have a picture?"

Ryoga reddened, angry. "You're not going back to this again, I--" He stopped, blinked, then ran to his pack. "I DO have a picture."

After a minute or two of rooting through his bag, Ryoga returned with a well worn photograph which he displayed to Waldo. In it, Ryoga and a boy with a black pigtail and Chinese style red shirt jockey for position around a pretty girl with short, dark brown hair.

"Ranma," he growled, indicating the photo. "And Akane..." His expression changed to a wistful half-smile.

Waldo gave him a critical look. "You love her, don't you."

The bandannaed boy blushed. "Wh-what makes you say that?"

"But," Waldo continued, ignoring him. "She doesn't realize this. And Ranma... has her heart. And... she has his, I'm afraid. Though they both refuse to admit it."

Ryoga was dumbstruck. "How could you possibly know all that from looking at a picture?!"

"I dunno, I just guessed. That's how it would be in a TV show. What, I'm right?"

Ryoga facefaulted.

Waldo helped the prone boy to a sitting position and patted him on the shoulder. "Ryoga my boy, you need a vacation."

Ryoga looked at him, puzzled. "But I don't work or go to school."

"No, no, you need a vacation from your life. Come exploring with me. I'll show you places you've never been before."

"I don't know about that..."

And so starts a journey... one that would transcend time and space, as two directionally challenged young men began to travel together...

These guys are the property of Martin Handford and Rumiko Takahashi. If they were mine, I'd be rich. That's life.

Author Notes:
    Heh heh heh... *jumps behind asbestos wall* Okay, I'm ready for C&C now...^_^; Actually, I've had this idea since all those strange crossover ideas were on the list... I actually have future scenes written out, so you'll all see more, whether you like it or not (they built the Delete key for this, kiddies)

Japanese Notes:
    Well, I haven't taken Japanese since early May, so any incorrect grammar I apologize for. Anyway...
'Ore wa daremo bangohan ja nai, yo!' SHOULD mean 'I'm no one's dinner!'
'Koko doko?' means 'Here is where?' or, 'Where am I?'
'Hitotsu mo koto...' SHOULD mean 'And another thing...'
If they don't... Gomen nasai!

Music Notes:
    E flat. Okay, that was really bad. I'd better go now...